Your Console Sucks: A Guide to Getting Attention through Trolling

Gaylo. Xcox. Wii360. RRoD. Kinect is Garbage. Wii is for babies. I love the new Dante. Nintendo hasn't made a new game in 20 years. PC gaming is dead.

How easy is it to piss off gamers? Really goddamn easy. Here is my simple process for generating drama on your blog.

1: Find news demonstrating a Marketing advantage.

It doesn't even matter how old it is! Was the Xbox outselling for a while? WOW PS3 IS DEAD. THATS ALOT OF RROD'S TO HANDLE. Wii? MORE LIKE SIT ON MY DICK.

So easy to contort, not to mention media trolls are constantly spewing bullshit about one system or the other being better, worse, dead or looking impressive.

It works like this: The average gamer can only afford one machine to play games on. Cognitive biases show that we are bound to defend a purchase after having made it. Faanboys show us just how ravenous this can be. ONE INFLAMMATORY statement will have people either agreeing, defending, or arguing with each other until their fingers bleed.

2: (Game 1) is like a dumb diapered babies version of (game 2)

Replace this entire situation with trashing Halo in any way shape or form. Inside of console preferences, there are (mostly fps) games that people will argue about for fucking years. Never mind the fact that Call of Duty and Halo are almost completely different experiences, both having their benefits and drawbacks: Fanboys will take it as a personal attack.

3: Defend Stylistic Changes

Dante, anyone?

Fanboys are pretty allergic to change. Just look at all the complaints about the new DmC, or the upcoming Diablo III.

Not only are gamers thin skinned about changes, they will bitch and moan and rally themselves until, in some cases, companies actually fucking CAVE IN and do what the fans want. All over a little hair-color.

Anyway, the topic itself is tiring to think about, but the success rate is undeniable. try it for yourself! Go make some blog posts saying absolute inflammatory bullshit and strangers from all around will come to tell you how wrong you are.